Sylvia's writing to freedom

Freakish 15/11/2010

A few blogs ago I was talking about the blood type diet and in that moment I decided to test out what impact tomatoes are having on me. I tested already out that I do have a reaction when eating tomatoes. To me it was a riddle, never had I experienced physical discomfort after eating tomatoes.

The idea of testing it out seemed at the time common sense. At first I didn’t see that I was making a lot of excuses and justifications to not radically test it for myself. Today I noticed a lot of mucus after eating my lunch, a slice of quiche. I had seen more reactions recently, so I figured it must be the right time to investigate. Only than I discovered the excuses for not testing out the tomato. What can I eat if I skip the tomato totally out of my diet for a while? What about pizza without tomato sauce, tomato soup without tomato, pasta Bolognese without tomato, salad without tomato. There are billions of people who never eat tomatoes, what’s the big deal? Do I detect resistance here Sylvia? Well, I suppose so…. What is the importance for me to hold on to the tomato?

I searched on the Desteni web-site for the food descriptions Maite once made. What is the tomato doing for us humans within the physical? The tomato assist and supports with the disentanglement of ingrained and infused manifested systems in and as the cell tissue of the human physical body. Such systems that are disentangled will be inverted into and as self as manifested behaviors and habits that will be experienced prominently to be faced. No more will it be hidden in the physical or hidden from self.

When I read “infused manifested systems in and as the cell tissue” I immediately came to think of my cysts, which are taking over my body. The first one I had on my hip at the age of 16, a little hard bump underneath my skin. My family doctor told me not to worry. My second one I found in my breast at the age of 21 and it was surgically removed, no cancer just a cyst my doctor said. The third I found at the age of 23 in my groin and my family doctor removed it, again a cyst. After the third one it calmed down a bit and after that I lost count. They are within my arms, legs, belly and the last one on top of my head. With shaving my head it could no longer be hidden. This one I regularly check, if it stays this size or if it’s growing. I do not fear cancer in this case, but one needs to keep in touch with ones body. I muscle tested if my cysts had anything to do with the tomatoes, meaning the assisting and support. Yes, tomatoes are assisting me with my cysts. Wow, how beautiful,  I could become emotional about this, but I’m not. I’m just amazed how nature is helping us and how we not even see the help that’s been offered.

I already had found out and checked through the resonances that the cysts are systems within my system. I had till now no idea how to break that information down into peaces for me to work with. In fact I was already a few days struggling with how to approach this point after bringing it up again. Halleluja, the answer just fell out of the sky, but no kidding all the answers are with us here all along during our life’s. I still have some disentangling to do, but this is the first break through.

Another thing that still wasn’t disentangled was the reaction I get by eating tomatoes. I know now that I resisted taking out the tomatoes of my diet, because they are assisting and supporting me. Therefore I muscle tested for a word that could explain my physical or mental reaction that I have when eating tomatoes. I tested for the word freakish, okay. I searched further for an explanation of the word freakish and I tested for the words; unpredictable and unchangeable. I can relate to these words, I’m quite unchangeable when it comes to certain habits. When I do change I see how easy it is to change and do not understand myself at all.

Unpredictable is something that I value as a positive addition to my identity/personality. Nine years ago a mom who I knew from my daughter A. her kindergarten said to me: “Sylvia you are a person that’s going through life unnoticed’. My ego was hurt, I had given birth to my two children and I was really insecure about my body that wasn’t in shape again. I didn’t feel like unnoticed, I had friends. She told me to dress well and use make-up. I must have been desperate, because I started to make fashionable clothes for myself and started to use make-up. I felt noticed again. Now looking back on the whole event, I can see that this lady was projecting her own worries and perceptions on to me. She was obese, had MS and hardly any friends, but I took it personal without really investigating. Thus when being unpredictable I could be noticed and be somebody, without understanding that I already AM. I don’t need ego or identity to become more ME. Wow another revelation. Thank you tomato for being so kind and assisting.

The solution for eating tomatoes will be eating tomatoes in moderation to be still assisted and less freakish. I will in time share the unraveled parts of this tomato story and I will share more self-forgiveness on it. To be continued.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted an allowed myself to resist not eating tomatoes for a while.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted an allowed myself to become freakish after eating tomatoes, meaning unpredictable and unchangeable.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted an allowed myself to participate within the pattern of unchangeability when it comes to habits, while I know that I can change in every breath and moment.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted an allowed myself to value the word unpredictable to boost up my ego/identity.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted an allowed myself to believe that I was unnoticed for my outer world.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted an allowed myself to act on an opinion of another without investigating the point.


2 Responses to “Freakish”

  1. jozienfokkert Says:

    Enjoyed reading!

    A suggestion here to simple test if tomatoes are assisting your physical body atm,( if you haven’t done this already) it can differ from moment to moment.

    • Sylvia Says:

      Thank you for reading Jozien and indeed this tomato reaction and the assisting isn’t something that stays stable like this untill I die. I’ve seen that also with carrots, first I saw it as an addiction, later I understood my need for carrots ( to be grounded and no dimension shifting).

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