Sylvia's writing to freedom

Carrots, carrots and carrots 29/11/2010

Finally I did it! I have been looking at this point from different angles and I was not ready, not able, not willing to take it on. There is always a good excuse to be found for not facing myself, but never ever one valid enough to refuse taking my responsibility.

I have been looking into the blood type diet, it didn’t look too much like a diet and the author has been doing quite some research. How commercial is it, I asked myself, what was the starting point for his research in the first place? The whole story had a lot of loose ends in my perspective and after reading he recommended to drink wine my “faith” faded away. At this point the blood type diet to me is only knowledge and information, so I could take on the diet and see for myself or start listening to my body and do research on my own, out of the starting point of me not abusing my body and eat/buy in the best interest of all.

For a while now I have been observing my body after eating food and drinking beverages. I found out that I was reacting and had more mucus after eating certain food types. Most food is a combination of several ingredients, therefore it’s hard to pinpoint wich whole food product is causing problems. I saw only one way to approach this, skip all food from my diet and start with just one type of food and water. Than add every day a new ingredient so it remains easy to see where I am reacting the most to. I muscle communicated about my approach and which type of food to start with. I tested out for carrot. I already considered to start of with carrot, but wanted to confirm it through muscle communication.

The carrot was prominent within my pie chart and later within a mind construct, but I approached it as an addiction. Just a few weeks ago I found out that carrot assist and support us to stay grounded and be here in the moment in every breath. I understand now why I ate so much carrots within my second pregnancy and later in life while spiritually engaged. So now this carrot may be the first food to start off my experiment. I want to find the food types I’d better not eat in order to feel better and therefore not let my body limit myself by eating the “wrong” food.

I had raw carrots for breakfast with a nice glass of spring water from our mountain here, so no additives there. The rest of the day I ate raw carrots whenever my stomach felt empty and tonight I cooked them to have something warm. That’s another point to take on, only eating to sustain my body, I was doing good but I still had certain cravings. My body felt neutral throughout the day, no heartburn and just the “normal” amount of mucus, because I still have this cough. I do not use any medicines for colds so it always takes a while to go away. This coughing though is another point I’m still unraveling. The coughing I do not take into consideration when it comes to the food testing.

While preparing the food for my partner and kids I had twice a moment of: “wow that smells good”, and my mind was trying to trick me into eating a little peace of turkey. I didn’t eat it and did self forgiveness on it. I have to stick to what I committed on, just simple plain discipline.

I made a list tonight of all the foods I can buy or take out of my garden, in order to muscle test through it to find out what the next food is to be added again to my diet. Tomorrow I’ll add corn flour, polenta, to my diet. Interesting combination, the kids were already fantasizing about what to make with it. At first they looked at me, while having carrots for breakfast, as if I lost my mind. Later they understood why I did it and they asked my partner P. why he wasn’t doing it. P. has quite some food reactions. He said: “I’m not able to muscle communicate yet in an effective way”. They didn’t ask themselves if they too might have some food issues. If they do it is more likely to be a mind fucking thing than a physical reaction. I will not push, I’ll just show them how I do it and how I take responsibility for my own body.

So tomorrow polenta cookies with carrot topping?

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to crave food by looking at it and remembering how such food would taste, instead of seeing that I’m participating within memories and emotions.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate within memories about food.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that emotions around food are necessary to enjoy food.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe it’s anti social to eat a different diet than the rest of my family.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear harming my body with this experiment.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not being in touch with my body for quite some time.

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