Sylvia's writing to freedom

We pushed through 03/12/2010

Yesterday I did a muscle communication session with my daughter A. about her irregular and rapid heartbeat. It had to do with feeling helpless and not following through and in the end we found out that it had to do with malnutrition and that she has to eat more green leaf vegetables and more vitamin B and C. Than we went to our family doctor and when he checked her out, he didn’t hear anything out of the ordinary while listening to A.’s heart. He wrote out a prescription for an ECG to exclude that something is wrong with A.’s heart.

This morning while my partner P. was bringing our son J. to school, A. went along to see if she could make an ECG at the hospital in the same town as where they go to school. P. and A. found out that there wasn’t a chance of making an appointment before Februari. Since A. wasn’t labeled urgent, within normal healthcare the waiting lists are this long. There is always the option to visit a private doctor, but the costs are extremely high. We cannot afford this at the moment. So P. called our family doctor again to inform him on the new situation. Our doctor was about to call his cardiologist friend when P. suddenly asked the doctor if maybe G., a friend of us, could check out A.. Do you know him, our doctor asked. So they found out that G. is a mutual friend, we were  introduced to him through our American friends J&A, they referred to him as “the doctor”. A title is really important here in Italy, it gives one status and privileges. Around noon P. called doctor G. to ask if he had time to look at A. and doctor G. invited them to come over at his house around 6 o’clock this evening.

After returning from the hospital A. was quite disappointed about not being able to make an ECG. She had made this idea in her head that she could make the ECG and than move on and see what would happen next. Plans changed and she had to change with it, instead she got stuck in a mindfuck. I sat down with her to make a plan in common sense how to approach this so called “created problem”. I didn’t have any proof yet, but knowing that all our physical conditions are here through our own actions, this one must have been “girlmade”. P. joined us and he started to remember how he had been having the same condition around more or less the same age. P. has been suppressing quite a lot of stuff since childhood. He remembered now that he never spoke about his condition with his parents out of fear for his parents, who always treated these things as of little importance. Finally it went away, but he had been feeling quite awful at that time. P. and I were also a bit alarmed about the sleeping patterns of A. and her listlessness. We asked her if she was feeling down or depressed, if she feared for her final year and the exams, but she didn’t.

P. left the room and I talked further with A. alone. I told her again about the point that I had found recently about the inherited feeling of worthlessness. Yesterday she couldn’t grasp that point, which we tested through muscle communication. I said that I saw her abusing her body now for almost for her entire life. Eating has always been a difficult point wherein I had my possessions with the mother construct and the health construct. Than her nonchalance about this abuse, it was all pointing in the same direction; worthlessness. When explaining this further to A. she suddenly saw what she had been doing all along. In a way a relief and on the other hand a big point to handle.

I asked A. if she wanted to go to school again soon or if she had problems with that. Problems with school she didn’t have, but with being tired an dizzy all the time she feared she couldn’t make it through the school day. So we made a plan to go back to our family doctor since he had still consultation hour. First to ask him to write a medical certificate for entering school after more than 4 days at home and sick. Secondly a certificate that explained that A. was going through medical exams and is easily tired and dizzy. These kinds of things one has to spell out for the average teacher, otherwise a student gets bullied by the teacher for feeling unwell and so called not do somebody’s utmost. In this scenario A. can try to go to school at Monday. Than she said to me: “there is another thing I haven’t told you yet”. I was curious, but grateful for the open communication we have. A. told me that some while back when she first felt a sharp pain in her heart/chest area she freaked out and thought she had an heart disease. I said wow, this is your trigger point for entering this mess you’ve made. This is the point where you have been creating it all! She saw what I meant, but it’s still hard to work with.

Around 6 o’clock P. and A. went to the house of doctor G. to talk to him about A.’s condition. He wants to see her in his practice next week to make an ECG, just in case. The bottom line of what he saw till this far was A’s body reacting to the fast beating of the heart. The tiredness nor dizziness can be the outflows of the heart condition, since her heart is beating beneath the 100. It could be that through the lack of certain essential substances within the body, the body has to work harder to get the same amount of oxygen out of the bloodstream. Therefore the heart is making more beats per minute to get more or less the same results as a healthy body does. The dizziness in that case is due to less oxygen within the bloodstream. Fascinating how this explanation is coinciding with our tested results within our muscle communication session.

For two days now A. is eating her veggies and fruit, lets see if she can pull this through. Together we pushed through her point of worthlessness and it was really cool to be part of it.

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