Sylvia's writing to freedom

Diet update 04/12/2010

Last Monday I stripped all food and beverages except for water from my diet. I started with carrots Monday and added first slowly a new food type to my diet, now I’m adding a few new food types every meal. The reason for this radical diet was an overall bad feeling in my body and overproducing of mucus and heartburn after eating food. This feeling has been slowly manifesting itself through time, for how long it has been I do not really know, at least half a year. I’m testing the food by eating it and watching if there occurs a physical reaction. If there is a reaction than I’ll test through muscle communication what within this food or the whole food is giving me this reaction. The foods that give me a physical reaction I put on a list to be tested with muscle communication. This to find out what this food is presenting to me, which feelings/emotions/thoughts are attached to it, so I can work it through and diffuse those points. The foods that are now a no way area, can be in the future food that I will eat again. I created this reaction on the food so I can de-create this reaction and move on.

Till so far I have reactions to: potatoes, pineapple, pistache nuts, polenta, two types of beans, wholemeal flower, oregano powder and chili powder. The reactions go from a lot of mucus to heartburn to burping and regurgitation. These heavy reactions I have now, while doing the experiment, I never had before. It’s all really in the face and pointing out to me that I have to take responsibility within these points and direct myself. The further I get in process the more obvious the points are and impossible to get around. I really want to take them on and till so far I’m not even overwhelmed although I have lots of points to work on. I’m here in every moment and take on whatever is possible within that moment and breath.

I’m going to test through the wholemeal flower today to see what it is telling about me and my process.

Trustable is the feeling that is attached to it. After searching for the definition in my dictionary I tested the following sentence; will you trust us till payday? Is this about trust in others or trust in myself? It’s about trust in myself. Has this point anything to do with  my partner P.’s unemployment? Yes, it does. Does it also have to do with the small jobs we do to sustain ourselves wherein we’re always in fear, because of the imbalance of incoming and out going amounts of money? Yes, also this point is valid within the tested feeling of trustable. So I do not trust myself within the point of bringing enough money home to pay the bills? Yes. Is this not trusting a worry that has arisen out of common sense or is it a fear from the mind? Okay it’s a fear coming from the mind, therefore not real.  Indeed not real, because I started DIP and are the recruiter of two recruits, so in time the more recruits there will be, my income will increase.

To give myself more clarity I tested for a book and found the following piece; “Intellectually I know that no task is too big for Self. But emotionally I’m just not sure. Not so much if Self can handle it, but more if Self will intervene”. Where I put the word Self the book said God. I tested if I could replace God with Self and it tested for yes. My interpretation of this is as following; in common sense I know that no task is too big/heavy for myself, but my mind gives me these fears that make me “think” that I will fail. Than I’m doubting if I will act when things get too though.

This is really cool, the point of unemployment was obvious already in my face. The underlining emotion was not really in my face. So these sudden food reactions are helping me through the most important points right now. Wow I’m really grateful for this process I’m giving myself!

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react to the food types I listed till so far.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself not to trust myself within the job point.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to doubt my capability of earning enough money to sustain myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear not being able to earn enough money to sustain myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear not trusting myself within earning money, while I know that this fear is of the mind and will only limit myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate within fear so I limit myself within earning enough money.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to doubt myself when it comes to acting and intervening when things get though.

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