Sylvia's writing to freedom

The abuse of flowers 08/12/2010

I saw the video of Lindsay about the story of roses grown in Kenya, than I saw the spring/summer flower photographes of Sunette and heard Kelley speak in her video about what we experience as beautiful and she used flowers as an example. I allowed myself to go back into my memory to see what my perspective on flowers is according to my experiences through the years.

As a child I took flowers for what they were, just flowers, I enjoyed them when I played outside. I used them within my games, I picked them to make flower crowns or me and my friends played mothers who were washing and cooking the vegetables. I picked dandelions for my rabbit. My mom bought now and then flowers to put in a vase inside our home, but we had more green plants growing inside the house.

I Also, when I was living on my own, bought myself now and than some flowers. It wasn’t my passion or an urge to have fresh flowers in my house. At a certain point when I was quite deep involved within spiritualism I refused to buy flowers or to accept them from others. Whenever I looked at flowers in a vase I only saw death. Flowers who were decapitated for me to put in a vase on display, to see throughout the days how they lost their life essence to finally surrender to death. The water from the vase smelling like rotting death.

I spoke about my experience with flowers to a teacher of a Montessori School. She didn’t had any problems with putting flowers on a vase. She explained to me how she always asked the trees and plants if she could take/cut them. She pulled onto  the branch or the stem to ask permission. I really didn’t understand this story of communication she had with plans and trees. Even now I do not see the common sense of it. To me this was some sort of a mind game she participated within to feel reassured before damaging nature for idle reasons.

Than we wanted to sell our house in Holland to immigrate to Italy. I read about flowers in the house, that it would make people comfortable and relaxed. With the prospect of selling our house I yielded and bought flowers to decorate my house. Here I can see that I was easily able to give into money. The better we sold our house the more money we had, to buy a nicer new house in Italy. Bribing people with the smell of fresh baked bread and fresh flowers to buy our house at the best price possible. And yes the opposite was our reality…

Since than I never bought flowers again to put in my house into a vase. It’s really useless and unnecessary, we humans do damage already so much of nature that we have to stop this ignorance and believe that it’s okay. It’s okay because we see it on tv, publicity and flower shops look really attractive to catch our attention. When we visit people we bring flowers, when we visit the graves of our family we bring flowers, when men want to impress the other gender they bring flowers. Giving flowers is a sign of kindness and showing ones affection. In reality we have to ask ourselves if that’s really what’s going on. In my perspective the almost dead flowers function as a smoke curtain and are a sign of death and distraction of what’s really going on.

When we visit friends we want them to like us and to invite us again in the future. We eat and drink from their money, we’re like an invited parasite. They invited us for the same reasons we went over to them, to be liked and invited back so they know somebody likes them. Measuring our popularity/self worth according to the amount of friends we have.

When we visit the grave of lets say our dead parents, we still want their approval and be their good girl/boy. Just hiding from ourself, from the fact that we’re not able to trust ourself to value ourself. We still need that from an outside source, dead parents who do not see or experience us anymore and a grave a place where only death rules. Bodies who returned to soil again. Who are we fooling here?

When men give flowers to women they want sex, when they give flowers after a fight they obviously want sex. And we women when accepting the flowers do silently agree with the proposal of sex.

Giving flowers is a symbol of our kindness, a symbol of being so kind to not say what our hidden agenda contains. We’re programmed to always gain/want something when in communication with others solely out of self interest. Small things or big things it’s all the same, it’s being dis-honest to oneself and therefore to all.

I do not bring dead flowers when I visit people, I want them to take me as I am. If that means I will not be invited anymore than I do not feel unworthy. I do not visit graves, because I cannot see the purpose of it. I never had sex for flowers and I do not give flowers to show my kindness, everybody is equal so nobody is that special that I need to show them how kind I am. I do as everybody communicate to gain certain things from others, though I always apply the 1+1 equation. What benefits me, must benefit all.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to yield for money and not standing for what’s best for all.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to let flowers perish in my own home to believe I was spreading pleasantness.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that hoping for more money can be expressed by bribing people with flowers and fresh bread, without consequences.


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