Sylvia's writing to freedom

Happy repeating ourselves 01/01/2011

A few days before New Year people start almost feverish wishing each other a HAPPY NEW YEAR. People who normally not wish me anything, start shaking my hand and wishing me publicly  happy new year or even kiss occasionally. I never understood this apathetic ritual between humans. It’s as if we can’t take it anymore after a full calendar year, we have to shove ourselves full with food, robotically giving presents and ritually celebrate that another year has passed away so we can bury it and never look back again. I can tell one thing for sure, the new years spirit comes to haunt you for sure, the spirit that’s called consequences. We simply can’t keep on repeating ourselves.

How can it be that we won’t see that we’re circling in these circles while repeating these energy charged rituals. We’re going from one festival to another throughout the year. While nature is providing us with this rhythm which we all can and have to follow, the four seasons of the year. I understand that the four seasons are not enough, are not sufficient enough to cover up all that needs to be forgotten and all that reminds us of who we think we are. We identify ourselves with all that we’re not and got hopelessly stuck within ideas, opinions and believes about how our world should be and how we should be within it. All based in desires and fantasies, real life as going along with the seasons isn’t experienced anymore. Snow isn’t just snow, it’s our definition of snow made out of memories/emotions and feelings. We’ve managed to turn our reality into this surrealistic world. A world where it’s okay to abuse one another and yourself.

My God, our world is beyond fuckedupness and almost everybody is doing the same as they did before, no questions asked. Do we all need to become homeless and in need for help first before we want to see what we’ve co-created? I understand that we’re pre-programmed to not question ourselves nor existence, that we’re pre-programmed to believe that we do not have the strength to fix our world on our own. Could we only for once step out of our bubble and consider things beyond our believes and see in self-honesty that reality is turning bad. The times we experience now, aren’t of all centuries. The topics are of all centuries, but the extent and fastness in which they take place is from now. We didn’t learn from the past so we don’t see ourselves repeating the same shit over and over again. Every time with more dishonesty, because it’s piling up throughout the centuries. We ate from the tree of knowledge, but did we really learn? I learned that knowledge didn’t bring us closer to a solution to solve our dishonesty. Eating the apple was the moment when we accepted and allowed ourselves to forget what was really happening. That we self willed directed ourselves to not see and numbed ourselves with knowledge, instead of seeing that we’re our own creators and that God is inside each of us, God is us.

Happy New Year, yeah, just another year to add up to the equation of greed and self interest. I’m not wishing anything, wishing is for the observer of life, I want to participate in life. To stand up and make the difference, not because I think I’m special, everybody can stand up, but to leave this planet something tangible for our future generations when I pass away. I’m obliged to do this, not due to my pre-programming, but due to being self-honest and directing myself accordingly.

Every year for many years now I send family, friends and acquaintances best wishes through spreading one of my poems. This year it was hard for me to write something, being so much more aware. I didn’t want to discourage people from reading it and I didn’t want to use empty sweet talking words. The last few years the poems really did make sense and people liked it, but in fact they were not understanding it and not capable of living it. Nevertheless I try it again this year for that one person who does know what I’m talking about.

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2 Responses to “Happy repeating ourselves”

  1. tullepie Says:

    Hi Sylvia, I would like to read your poem but I can’t -could you post it in another post , would you?


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