Sylvia's writing to freedom

Living together 21/01/2011

It’s winter and it’s our fourth winter here in Italy. Our first winter wasn’t a cold winter, nevertheless the house was cold and we lived in a room temperature around 11 degrees Celsius. The wind blew through the walls and windows. We tried to heat the rooms which was a difficult task and basically meant that we were heating the inside and outside of the house. Our second winter started in this house and we decided to look for another place, the wood stove we used was an attack on our health and we were longing for a “normal” heated house.


Since we are living in Italy I’ve been really cold. In Holland I never bothered about the cold in winter as a grown up. It was as if the scale was blowing to the other side. In Holland I never wore really warm cloths in winter, now here in Italy I wear at least 5 different layers of clothing. As if it is a polarity that I’m  living out through which I’m now experiencing only the cold. Or when one grows older one becomes cold due to all that is accepted and allowed. In that case I can heat myself by doing SF and applying self corrective statements, just turning the process of ignorance and accepting and allowing. lol


We moved to an apartment, some sort of a barbi house. It was so small that half of our furniture had to be put away in the relatively big garage we had. That winter was a warm and cosy winter, cold outside while we were warm inside our little house. Due to lack of space and my business that was growing we had to find ourselves another home. We found a big house for a really low rent and decided to take it, it was spring and we didn’t think too much about winter. We knew that heating the house would be a problem, but we figured that it was better then our first home here in Italy. How wrong had we’ve been. The first year we literarily burnt our reserve money for a temperature of 16 degrees Celsius and we were still cold. This year we decided to approach things more in common sense.


Without a substantial job there was no money to heat the whole house. Last year we closed the big spacious living room due to the cold and not being able to raise the temperature above the 13 degrees Celsius. This year we looked at it again and we saw that when we took out the door between the living room and dining room, which is already connected to the kitchen, we had even more space than in our Barbi apartment. We decided to put a wood burning stove in the living room and with the fire place in the dining room we could maybe reach 18 degrees.


We were all used to having our own space/room to work or play. The most practical solution was to make a corner for all 4 of us and spend winter living close together. In the apartment although it was smaller we had different rooms to for a moment be able to separate one from the hectic of family life. My partner P. made his office in one corner, I installed my 3 sewing machines and my computer in another corner, my son J. took his desk and computer downstairs and my daughter A. who loves the couch and never works behind her desk decided to claim the big sofa to hibernate. The kids go to school only in the morning, 6 days a week and only very recently P. started to go to the office 3 times a week, so that gives me 3 mornings of total possession over the living room. Around Christmas we were all at home for about 14 days, but it worked well. We made certain rules and applied “what’s best for all” whenever there was a disagreement. It has been such a great experience, nobody can hide away, all is seen and all is in the open. When we as parents discuss things the kids discuss with us and we’ve been tackling a lot of topics due to the fact that we were together. We learned to function as a whole and frustrations were taken on right away. When spring arrives and we all will move back again in our own spaces we will probably miss each other’s presence. We already did visit each other regularly, but that will probably increase. Over all a nice experiment.



Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s