Sylvia's writing to freedom

How I was able to hear the Desteni message 05/02/2012

When I 4 years ago stumbled upon a video of Desteni, done by Sunette as a portal, I wasn’t looking for the Desteni message. I had no intent to join any group what so ever, I had no intent to face myself and I had absolutely no intent to change the world simply because I never perceived myself as someone that could change the world. I was living my dream within my bubble and could see, feel and understand that there was something really wrong with the world I was living in. And I say “the world I was living in”, because I didn’t see the world as “the world I am a part of”. I was raised in the era of individualism and joining a group was kind of hippie like and kind of impossible for me to join groups while I perceived myself as an independent individual and not part of the collective that’s called life. I lived life my way in an original way believing in me as good and peaceful going along on the new age wave and creating a new belief out of love&light and being on top of the world as a conspiracy junk to point fingers at all that was bad in this world to not face myself and instead blaming others for making my dream life impossible.

 

Wow, that was my start 4 years ago after 40 years of pretending to live. I lived, I hibernated through the years, but I hadn’t really lived. I observed my live as the observer of my own life, afraid before taking every breath without recognizing my separation of life. I was floating around and on a conscious level not searching for answers about life, I was simply too afraid to burst my bubble. Yet I was complaining about not getting the answers I wanted within my process of Reiki and energy work. Without realizing it. I was searching for answers all my life and hadn’t gotten any. I expected others to bring me the answers and did not even consider the possibility of finding answers myself. With the beginning of the internet things changed and searching was quite easy all of a sudden and yet a sea full of information to go through.

 

I was disappointed in religion, not seeing that religion for me was an energy refill and I got hooked on the energy. The moment I had to become an active part of the religious group I backed out and blamed them for narrowness. I was disappointed in spirituality, because it didn’t serve me the specialness I was looking for to refill myself with energy, the very energy I lost by leaving the religious group. The moment it was time to decide which spiritual group was ment for me, I backed out and blamed them for being too extreme and not grounded. When I started to read conspiracy theories it confirmed my ego in being right all along and I used this information like a religion to convert people like Jehova Witnesses do.

 

So you can say that I was quite a lost case to hear anything and who had tried to find the answers to life without really knowing that I was searching for the answers and yet when I saw that first Desteni Productions video it hit home. I do not recall which video it was since I started to search for more after that first one. I’ve spent weeks watching the Desteni materials, I simply couldn’t stop. I had to know and I had to understand what Desteni was communicating with me. Their material was touching me deep inside and it was so easily answering many of my questions that had been so hard for others to answer. I saw how I had been wandering around as an observer in my own life and was eager to learn how to direct myself for the first time in life.

 

I was able to hear what Desteni said while being in a zombie state and completely brainwashed by society and upbringing, not very different from any average person. I had made major changes in my life and still I had this dissatisfied feeling inside of me. I didn’t want to believe that this was life and that this was all that was to it, I believed that there had to be more to life than this. Simply out of the fear that if life was this unspecial I couldn’t claim my own specialness anymore, no individualism anymore. I would be useless in a world without purpose. So my ego demanded that there should be more to life than this. How could I be the award winning star of my own movie as I was playing in a B movie?

 

I took the Desteni ride and I was in for a lot more than I had expected. I took over a year to take all information in and keeping up with the new materials. Then the moment arrived where I could join the forum, which I by the way could had done from the start, but I was afraid. I was afraid of not expressing myself good enough in English, I was afraid of not being a good enough Destonian yet, I was afraid to meet all these people I didn’t know yet. Though the biggest fear was joining the forum was equal to me to joining a group. So I feared loosing my identity/individuality and almost physically shaking I registered though never posted anything. Appart from not joining the forum I kept actively listening to the new materials and sharing it with my partner and kids. Only when I had the intend to start the Structural Resonant Alignment training I forced myself to join actively the forum and so I did. From joining the forum I joined Desteni on Facebook and You Tube and contributed to the newsletter.

 

Before I knew it I was part of a group and I recognized myself in all the people that joined. I realized that it wasn’t that fearful to join a group. I even enjoyed joining this group. The more I became aware of myself and who I had accepted and allowed myself to be, the more I understood and realized the importance of facing myself and therefore facing the world. By changing myself I could actually be a living example. There was no need anymore to hide myself and peep through the key hole to observe life. The more I started to understand life and me as life the more I saw the need for an Equal Money System to end inequality and equally live and breathe ourselves for the first time without the fear of survival creeping up ones neck into real physical life.

 

I started blogging and vlogging to spread the Desteni message just as they had equally done for me. I fell and I stood up during those last 4 years, every time stronger. Desteni helped me on a personal level to overcome events in my life I would have gone insane over when I didn’t know that the key and therefore the answers are always inside of me. Taking Self-responsibility and being Self-honest became more clear to me over the years. The difference is now I’m slowly but surely walking these words and before I was still comprehending these words. I have gone from self-manipulation to self-directing and the result is less stress while sailing a stable stance in life.

 

At the moment also my partner is doing SRA-1 and my teenage kids are applying the Desteni tools and materials as far as they are capable. I was able to hear the message of Desteni, one that says that we should love our neighbors like ourselves. Which implies that we first need to love ourselves in order to be able to love our neighbors. First we better/improve ourselves and then reflect the improved Self into the world. We do this in common sense and in the best interest of all in all ways. To understand that life takes place here within our physical reality and not up there in our minds. If we want a better life why not have a better life for all?

 

If you can see and hear that this world is heading towards destruction and that we only have 1 life to stop and change that world as ourselves, the join us. See and investigate for yourself what we’re standing for and decide whether you wan to be the change, by changing you as a being. We are people just like you, so it’s never too late to join us and become a Destonian for life.

 

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Where do I stand within modern society and its vast information? 30/01/2011

We are living in times where data about almost anything you can think of is free to access. Traditions, books, tv, radio, the internet, it all gives us information on various topics. The internet will account for a large portion of the information we seek. Google, You Tube, social networks as Facebook and twitter, it’s huge. The supply of information is vast and I have to search in common sense through the controlled data Google is providing me. In order to see what’s valid I have to apply the information and walk it myself. Till so far it’s doable and I can take my own stance within it. In other words, my micro world is covered. Thus on a micro level I can work things out and I’m grateful for the information provided.

Also on a macro level I take information in, although I’m living within my family and friends networks I’m also part of a country and that country is part of the entire world. Only to, for instance understand why my groceries are getting more expensive every month, I need to form a total picture of my world. In order to indicate my micro world within a macro level I need information from others. This information is more difficult to apply since I depend in this case on information given by governments, corporations and media. I can not test for myself if oil is indeed more expensive or wether there is speculation in the game. Therefore this vast information is making the foundations of my stance to shake. Do I believe all that’s been said by the main stream media, do I go along with conspiracy theories or do I let fear through this vast amount of information get a hold on me? Is the USA in Iraq to bring democracy? Are Dutch policemen going to Afghan to learn the military there how to search a person? Are deseases used to financially exploit us? Are investors speculating with our food commodities? Is China going to be the next world power or is Israel aiming for it? Are the riots in the Middle East a big deception?

I came across a video on the internet of Sheikh Imran Hosein which has been recorded in 2003, he predicts already back then what is happening in the Middle East right now. He warns for the deceptive game that is played by Israel. He states that the agitation in the Middle East is specific engineered by Israel. The Arab news site Al Jazeera is according to Hosein installed by the Jews to evoke more agitation and rage within the Arab world. Till the point is reached that Israel has to so called defend herself and performs a pre-emptive-strike, a blitzkrieg with “state of the art” technology. All to gain power and rule exclusively over the region. It doesn’t sound all too ridiculous what Hosein predicts and Al Jazeera does bring quite unilaterally information. I disapprove with the way most people have to live in the Middle East while their leaders live like Gods, though when I look at the riots in Egypt I only see young activists. Where are the people who aren’t allowing and accepting this poverty anymore or am I searching for sensation here? The whole event is about power that’s cristal clear, but is it the Arab potentates that seek for ultimate power, or is it the USA who wants to keep his ally Egypt and therefore power over this region full of oil, or is it Israel who want exclusive power over the region. You tell me, because I’m lost within this vast amount of information and at the same time lost within my macro world. On a micro level I could cope on a macro level it’s another game and probably the reason why people get totally apathetic of their outside world. Where am I within all this information? It is too much information and not giving us a clue of what we’re dealing with, but we need to care. We must understand that we need each other, together we are our macro world.

Too much non testable information is making us apathetic and escaping into our minds. OMG in our minds we find even a worst world, our inner world which is fueled by dishonesty and spiteful thoughts. Emotions and feelings which are interconnecting us in all kinds of information which makes us end up even more disillusioned. I better stick to my physical reality and strip it from all energy driven emotions and feelings which are not really adding anything to my menu of information about this mysterious macro world. I need to ask myself the simple question if all this information about for instance Hosein his theory is valid or not and if it’s adding something to my reality. I know already that men is deceptive, wants power and sticks his greedy fingers without any regret in others their basic needs. If Israel is going for this power trip, am I at this very moment able to avoid that? I don’t think so. So does all this information keeps me sharp and is it helping me with making decisions? I don’t think so. I need to regain my stance and take a stand for life and by no means ever again allow and accept abuse within my world and no longer take less then world equality. Only what’s best for all gets approved by me. I will clear my inner world to be ready in time for my outer world. Information is great, but I will no longer BE this vast information. I will trust myself and use information within a clear starting point of what is best for all and no energy will lead me anymore. I’m ready to change the world within the borders of my micro and macro worlds without violence and a plan to stick to. This plan is the Equal Money System and many are doing so with me. Join us and make the real difference.

 

Where dead birds drop on your head… 09/01/2011

Today after many times skipping my walk around the block I walked again. The weather has been awful, but that’s a lame excuse. I know that every time after not walking for a while I sort of regret it. Which is in fact a stupid or ineffective way to live my life, to not act then later regret it and not seeing or understanding the point why I didn’t act in the first place. I would say a very difficult way to handle myself.

So we walked, there was this soft warm breeze and a nice 12 degrees Celsius. I felt the wind touching the skin of my face and I felt here within reality. Every step I did was a connection with the earth, every breath and every step. Yes this is what life feels like even if life is a fuckin horrendous creation of our minds. Real reality is something I prefere nowadays over my mind reality. Maybe I can be and do anything within my mind and believe that it is without consequences, being here in every breath is making it possible to change and see/experience the real difference these changes bring.

A short while ago I thought that I had shingles again, fear took me in it’s grip. This time I saw the nasty fucker coming, it sneaked out of my solar plexus to get his hand on my throat. I stopped and decide not to play along with this fear. So I choose reality over mind, then I forgave myself for participating within this fear. I had started lubricating the spot on my cheek with anti-viral cream and did so for 2 days. It never came to anything, it faded away and I witnessed me standing up for myself within not participating in this fear and standing up in the best interest of all. Just not participating in the pre-programming and the unified field is acting in the best interest of all. It takes only 1 moment to change and it takes many moments to change our world, but we have this power and self-trust to be more than robots to be the improved version of ourselves.

Who isn’t seeing that our world is in serious problems is simply doomed, who does see the atrocities and compounding events needs to stand up and no longer hide in fear. Fear has never liberated anybody so far in history so what would make you the first? Wouldn’t it be nice to walk without fear and feel the wind touching your skin and to be proud on the world you walk in? Or would you prefer a world where dead birds drop on your head, where viruses are ruling and everybody is acting from ego grabbing around them in greed and self-interest? To me this isn’t even a choice it’s crystal clear that I want to leave a world behind that is capable of giving all life a dignified life. Be 1 vote for world equality together with me and show the strength that’s within you, roll up your sleeves and build a better world!